• SR 500, SR 250, what's the difference?
• I don't want to DRINK it, I just want to warm my hands on it.

• Now, I don't think it's hard to start. At least, compared to my Norton
• Yeah, it's hard to start.
• Now, the first thing you want to do is keep the stock carb and airbox...
• Now, the first thing you want to do is trash the stock carb and airbox...
• In my opinion, Yamaha makes the finest motorcycles in the world.
• Seems like the '80 and '81 was kind of slapped together.
• They all do that.
• Is the battery supposed to be bubbling?
• Never seen one do that before!
• Now THAT is a good looking bike!
• No, you said the Clymer manual.
• Rare!
• I just leave the keys in it. I figure, if you can start it, you can have it!
• No, it's not British.
• You paid more for that jacket than I did for my SR!
• @#?%*!!!
• Yeah, but I've seen YOUR SR!
• Honey, how come your bike doesn't look that good?
• I know, I know, it's the bike you always wanted. Again.
• The road just looked wet to me...
• Loud? You're OLD!
• Anyone see my 10mm socket?
• If a little's good, too much ought to be just about right...
• Self-cancelling my butt!
• You know, that thingie on the back of the seat.
• Retro? Nah, it's just old.
• I tried a bump start once. Once.
• If you ever want to sell that...
• I think I could only see my elbows in the mirrors, but they were vibrating so much I really couldn't tell.
• Like new!

• So I figured, how hard could it be?
• Don't tighten that too mu... son of a...!
• I was wearing my good shirt, but I figured, "well, I only have to loosen one bolt. How dirty can I get?"
• Oh, I guess it was enamel
• Yeah, but when I used to ride in the winter, it was cold!
• Put a helmet on, you idiot!
• So he took it apart to see how it worked.
• He went to change his fork oil, and his mom had her laundry hanging up drying in the basement...
• Torque wrench? We doan need no steenking torque wrench!
• Oh, I thought it had a centrifugal oil filter.
• I wasn't worried about falling off, I was worried about falling under.
• Man, that pipe is hot!
• HELP!
• I think that's a lawn mower spark plug.
• What do you mean, you bought another one?
• Ramp? I just lift it out of the truck!
• What button on the carb?
• So I figured, if that's all it's worth, I might as well keep it and get the other one, too!
• My SR? Which one?
• You can never have too many thumpers, just too little garage.
• Yeah, it's like a Gold Star, only it doesn't leak oil.
• Turns out most of the parts in the box weren't even from an SR...
• So he put the rotor on his drill press...
• You want how much?!
• I left a thick cloud of profanity hanging over the garage every time I tried to start it.
• Now THAT is a good looking bike.
• Painted that yourself, did you?
• I blew my nose later, and it was British Racing Green.
• Ice racers? Now you guys are CRAZEE!
• No, the BIG persuader!
• That bike looks like Darth Vader.
• That bike looks like Van Vader!
• Brand new '82, never run or set up...
• Nah, that makes it better!
• Shouldn't there be gas in the tank?
• Mirrors? I don't need to see where I've been!
• Dirt cheap and harder to break than a rock.
• After about twenty minutes, I decided I was too old for rearsets and clip-ons.
• Now back home, we have some serious twisties!
• So, in return for relatively little speed or power, I get a bike that's hard to start, right?
• Sell em? I just keep 'em and buy more.
• It's not supposed to be comfortable.
• A tisket, a tasket, my SR's in a basket...
• I probably could have got a better price if I hadn't been salivating so much...
• Dos Equis?
• That thing eats chains like Elvis goes through jelly donuts.
• You're sure these aren't Lucas electrics?
• Hmmph. I guess I was wrong.
• I just kept leaning further into the turn and thinking, I sure hope there's no gravel...
• Rear brake? What do you need a rear brake for?
• No, it's a street bike. Look on the old fiche...
• Says here it's available...
• Hey, wasn't '81 the last year for these in the states?
• Hey, can somebody help get this thing off me? Guys? Guys?
• Oh, I guess I should have told you not to leave the masking tape on when the tank was sitting in the sun.
• You paid how much?
• Man, this mud smells like a sewer...
• I'll catch up in the corners.
• Lefty loosey, righty tighty.
• Why doesn't it have a mirror on the right?
• Well, I can appreciate the work that went into it.
• I think that chili might have been a mistake!
• So I was trying to figure out how to get that bike without my wife finding out...
• Naw, it just looks like a wooden dowel. That's a genuine American hand-carved passenger peg!
• Map?
• Does it look like it needs stitches?
• Hand me that metric crescent wrench.
• Whoa... maybe they're right about having proper ventilation when you use that stuff...
• I figured, "well, she never comes out to the garage..."
• Plus, I've even got the stock airbox if you want to reinstall it.

---

Jim Colbert/FSSNOC # 2811
jcolb@barashgroup.com
07/31/97